Media bias evidenced by ‘Octomom’ coverage

There’s no such thing as bad publicity–so the adage goes. This is evidenced by the sensationalistic coverage of Nadya “Octomom” Suleman, who gave birth to octuplets as a result of in-vitro fertilization in January 2009. 

Her decision to participate in assisted reproductive technology drew outrage when it was reported that she was currently raising 6 children on government assistance at the time she sought in-vitro. 

As many citizens and state legislators scramble to enact laws prohibiting the type of situation that Suleman has found, or put herself in, many are calling out the media for their unabashed bias in reporting the story.

“It’s clear to see where the media stands,” said a skewed citizen who apparently missed the point, “they’re making her out to be a fame-driven monster.”  

Indeed, the media shamelessly wore their judgement on their sleeve on this one. The very use of the villainous term “Octomom”, is an obvious insinuation of the leveraging that she will use her children for to extort money out of the American tax payer.

 

Portrayal of Nadya Suleman by the heartless media.

A-Rod Apologizes for His Incessant Apologizing

The New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez — or “A-Rod” — confessed this week to using steroids during his 2003 season. Rodriguez was awarded the American League MVP for that season, in which he hit a — at the time — career-high 47 homeruns and batted .298.

At a press conference — called just days after Sports Illustrated reporter Selena Roberts, came forth with news of 3 sources who alleged that Rodriguez had used banned substances in 2003 — Rodriguez apologized for lying in previous claims he’d made and confessed to using poor judgment previously in his career.

“I was young, I was stupid.” Rodriguez said.

As the Major League Baseball commissioner mulls over whether a penalty is warranted for Rodriguez’s actions, fans of baseball and news readers everywhere are becoming increasingly irritated with Rodriguez’s apologies.

When news of public’s annoyance reached the slugger, he immediately scheduled another press conference where he apologized for his incessant apologies.

“I’m sorry for making separate apologies to everyone involved,” Rodriguez said. “I should have covered all the bases by saying them all in at once. I was stupid.”

Immediately after these remarks, one reporter spoke up and pointed out that Rodriguez had once again apologized –  thus sending him into a vicious loop. The reporter when onto point out that this was a loop of which an escape was only possible by separating Rodriguez from the microphone and returning him to the field where he would resume playing the game that he is paid hundreds of millions of dollars to play.

As Rodriguez slunked out of the rear exit, reporters stood puzzled in the uncomfortable silence.

A-Rod Stuck In A Vicious Loop

Bush Administration Hijacks U.S. Oil Tanker, Demands Heroic Legacy

Reports have confirmed that the Bush administration has hijacked a privately owned U.S. based oil tanker in the Gulf of Mexico. The administration is allegedly willing to release the ship in exchange for a guarantee that historians will be required to write about his two terms with heroic praise.

It’s assumed that the success that Samali pirates have had in recent years influenced this move by the Bush administration who have suffered embarrassing tactical blunders throughout the presidents two terms in office.

The move comes shortly after a series of ‘exit-interviews’ in which the president talked about his mistakes while in office but insisted that historians might look back at his two terms in a more favorable light.

Ironically Bush used the deck of the ship for a photo op for his ransom demands–a scene reminiscent of his premature Iraq War victory speech made aboard the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln in May of 2003.

Frustrated with popular opinion, Bush makes ransom demands.

Kennedy’s Hamster To One Day Continue Kennedy Senate Tradition

After years of avoiding public service 51-year-old Caroline Kennedy-daughter of John F. Kennedy- has announced her interest in the senate seat in New York vacated by soon to be Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

The move has drawn resentment from some who believe that the Ivy-league-trained lawyer and Author isn’t quite qualified for the job. Critics say her last name alone doesn’t entitle her to the position.

Well i’ve got news for all you critics–It does.

They say there are 2 absolutes in this life–death and taxes. It really should be more like 4–death, taxes, the Kennedys having freakish bad luck, and the Keddedys getting whatever political position they desire.

In fact, they feel so entitled that they are starting to roll out their future appointments (calling then candidates would imply that there’s a chance they could lose).

Just this week the Kennedy’s pet hamster Wiggles that once lived with them in the white house during the JFK administration–now age 52–announced that he will be claiming the vacated Illinois senate seat. On his tour of Illinois this week Wiggles brought with him Rev. Al Sharpton to send a clear message that he is a friend of…Reverends.

Wiggles Kennedy on his meet-the-peeps tour.

I’ll Give You a Little *!@king Editorial Support

*@!$ you Gov. Smafuloshit!

Wow. I don’t know where they came from. Oh wait. It might be the caustic foul-mouthed transcriptions I just read of conversations that Illinois Governor had about slangin’ a senate seat.

Apparently a senate seat has a going rate of around $50,000 and Gov. Blagojevich wasn’t just about to give it up for a mere handshake or compliment to his character.

To be fair though, I know where the guy’s coming from. The economy is going to shit. It’s time to wheel and deal.

Gov. Blagojevich

I’m just surprised that they weren’t onto this guy’s shifty dealings from the get go. I mean–not to judge a book by it’s cover–but this books cover is totally suspect.

Gov. Blagojevich's sailor-mouthed alter ego.

I feel those peering hawk eyes coming through my computer screen–cursing like a sailer–rifling through my wallet–taking my lunch money–and finally scalping tickets to the treasured senate seat vacancy left by the election of Obama.

-James AA

It’s times like these…

When the only such thing as a free lunch — is a Pride Sandwich.

Read On… http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/12/05/unemployed.sign/index.html

The Gas Empty Light Just Came On

By now you might have heard…

It’s official.

As a guy living in the remote wilderness with no human contact – living off of bush meat – laughing about how he doesn’t give two shits about who’s recessed and who isn’t – could have told you months ago; the U.S. is and has been in for many months a recession.

For you thrill seekers and financially challenged, it’s kinda like the call to urgency of the gas empty light that has finally come on after watching the needle hover over that empty notch on the gas gauge for miles.

The light has come on.

Except in your case you were probably at least smart enough to invest in a foreign car. So once that guy walks away from his 5 kabillion gallon gas-tank equipped Suburban and you siphon as much as you need – you’ll be off and running.

But that’s just me…

-James AA

Obama Names Key Cabinet Appointments

Bee Tee Dubya’s Washington reporter was able to snap this shot of President-elect Obama’s first cabinet meeting.

I wonder if CEOs on Mars have golden parachutes?

I realize that whenever America faces any kind of nation-wide crisis it becomes popular to criticize spending on our space program. Well, this post is no exception.

What’s so great about space anyway? It’s baron. Detroit is becoming pretty baron too. Maybe we need a mission to Detroit and carry some jobby jobs on board our shuttle to hand out to the lifeforms once we land.

Why the hell are we spending such and such on the space program while we’re spending billions on bailing out bankrupt corporations to save our economy. If we’re really facing an economic meltdown that could result in something resembling The Great Depression what will the Astronauts on board our next mission have to come home to? A baron wasteland at Cape Canaveral?

Ok. I’ll be honest. I was trying to play the fear card with that last thought and in no way do I think that’s even a possible outcome.

But seriously though, aside from boosting moral and giving us something to believe in during the Cold-War, and aside from giving us aesthetically pleasing images of the U.S.’s wang ; what has the space program done for you lately?

That is unless we can find some economists out there in space somewhere that can tell us what the fuck is going on.

But that’s just me…

-James AA