Bush Administration Hijacks U.S. Oil Tanker, Demands Heroic Legacy

Reports have confirmed that the Bush administration has hijacked a privately owned U.S. based oil tanker in the Gulf of Mexico. The administration is allegedly willing to release the ship in exchange for a guarantee that historians will be required to write about his two terms with heroic praise.

It’s assumed that the success that Samali pirates have had in recent years influenced this move by the Bush administration who have suffered embarrassing tactical blunders throughout the presidents two terms in office.

The move comes shortly after a series of ‘exit-interviews’ in which the president talked about his mistakes while in office but insisted that historians might look back at his two terms in a more favorable light.

Ironically Bush used the deck of the ship for a photo op for his ransom demands–a scene reminiscent of his premature Iraq War victory speech made aboard the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln in May of 2003.

Frustrated with popular opinion, Bush makes ransom demands.

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